I’m starting this exercise in my blog to be real and open. Some of the hardest things to talk about are sex and finance, but I feel like talking about finance will help me mentally in terms of acceptance and authenticity. When you live in freedom instead of fear, there is peace and joy. At the same time, I know that being vulnerable opens me up to criticism, rejection, and hurt—mostly to my pride. So, I won’t blast this out to people. This is more like a journal. If you happen to stumble upon this, just know this is me—raw and unfiltered. Maybe it’s by divine appointment, and something I share will resonate with you.
I’ve been in network marketing since I was 23. I can’t really say I’ve done it consistently for 15 years because, in the last few years, my effort has been minimal. My goal was always residual income and time freedom. My wife and I actually achieved that. But deep down, I still felt like I hadn’t “arrived.” It was a mix of success and failure, pride and shame. I would reframe my perspective to focus on accomplishments, but the truth was, I thought that if I just made more—if I hit a certain rank or income level—I’d feel at peace.
The number? $200,000 a year. Why? It just felt like a nice, round number.
So, Cassy and I worked. We started groups in different cities, expanded beyond Honolulu, went to other states, and then to other countries. Every year, we aimed to meet or exceed the previous year’s income, and we did. From 2010 until 2020, we grew. 2020 was our peak year—$120,000 in commissions. The best part? We worked fewer hours, we didn’t travel, and yet, I still felt like I hadn’t made it.
Then, in 2021, my income dropped—for the first time. I could have blamed the economy, but that wasn’t the truth. Others in my company were still growing. So, the issue wasn’t external—it was me (or at least that’s how I perceived it). My income kept dropping, year after year. By 2024, it plateaued. The shame wasn’t just about the money; it was about what I had become—a shadow of myself.
Imposter Syndrome & Identity
Our company, doTERRA, assigns titles based on the highest rank you’ve achieved. Ours is “Diamond.” The performance bonus for Diamond is $3,000-$4,000 per month. It’s the third-highest rank in the company, and fewer than 20 people in Las Vegas have ever reached it. But in reality? I no longer have the rank or structure of a Diamond. The last time I qualified was 2020. Right now, my structure is that of a Silver, where the performance bonus averages $150.
Instead of $10,000/month, my income dropped to $4,000-$5,000/month—just shy of $60,000/year.
Would people still follow me? I wrestled with doubt, shame, and regret. But I can’t dwell on the past. I can only take inventory of what I have, recognize the blessings, and decide how to move forward. Maybe this process will help someone else going through a similar challenge, whether in business, career, or personal life.
Taking Inventory: What I Still Have
- A Business That Still Exists – Though I lost over half of it, I still have loyal customers and business partners. Instead of focusing on the loss, I can invest more in those who stayed.
- Skills & Experience – Years of overcoming challenges and failures have taught me valuable lessons. I can apply them moving forward.
- A Supportive Wife – Cassy shares the vision and dreams. I’m not doing this alone.
- Residual Income – $60K/year might not be what it was, but it provides stability while we rebuild.
- A New Perspective – This season of loss has given me a fresh start, a chance to align my actions with my values and be my authentic self.
Finding My Why
When considering a reboot, I had to ask: Is this worth it? Am I holding onto something out of fear of failure, or is there still a future in it? Should I walk away, get a job, or start something new?
The answer came back to my why—residual income and time freedom. People who haven’t experienced residual income don’t fully understand it. It’s like trying to describe the Grand Canyon to someone who’s never seen it. We had it since 2011, but we never fully experienced it until 2021, when we scaled down and truly lived off it. That sabbatical allowed us to rest, focus on mental health, and invest in ministry, without worrying about basic needs.
I’ve always heard, “$1,000 of residual income is worth more than $1,000 of active income.” Now, I fully understand that.
A Greater Purpose: God’s Calling
Why do people get involved in network marketing? The common answers are time freedom, residual income, and being your own boss. But for me, these are not the ultimate goals.
What truly matters is God’s calling. Time freedom and residual income are tools, not the purpose. They can create opportunities, but they are not the mission. If we prioritize them over God’s calling, we risk making an idol out of financial success or personal freedom.
As a believer, my work must align with my faith. It’s not just about making money or having control over my schedule—it’s about stewarding the gifts God has given me to serve others and glorify Him. Whether through business, ministry, or everyday interactions, my priority is fulfilling His purpose.
That’s why I stay in network marketing—not because it promises an easy lifestyle, but because it aligns with my mission to empower others in health, wellness, and faith. The business is a vehicle, not the destination.
So, why are you here? What drives your efforts? If time freedom and residual income are your only reasons, you might find yourself feeling unfulfilled even when you achieve them. But if your purpose is bigger—if it’s about answering God’s call—then your work will always have meaning, no matter the outcome.
Moving Forward
This season is humbling. But instead of being ashamed, I’m learning to be thankful. The fear of losing business once controlled me—I censored how I spoke, avoided offending people, and wasn’t fully myself. But now? I embrace it. People will leave, but people will also stay. And ultimately, God provides.
So, I reboot—not from scratch, but with lessons learned, a strong foundation, and a renewed mindset.
If you’re facing setbacks—financial, career, or personal—take inventory of what you still have. Dig deep. There’s always something.
And when you find your why, you’ll know the next step to take.
